2009: A Year Remembered

The year 2009 brought about the biggest trials my family and I have ever been through. This is a year that in many ways I wish I could just forget or wake up from and have it be a really bad nightmare, but then I realize that I have grown and matured through the trials that we were faced with this year and without these trials I wouldn't be where I am now both mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If our faith is never tested how does it grow? If we never go through the difficult times how will fully comprehend the love our God has for us? If things were always wonderful and rosy we would never understand our need for the Lord and come to a place where we are able to let it all go and let Him work in ways only He can do.
The first whopper of a trial that came our way was on February 28th. Jon came home with the news that he had been laid off and had one month to find another job. That was at terrifying thing in this economy. Here we were a family of 4 faced with a job search in this pitiful market.
Three weeks later, trial #2 hit us. I went through one of the darkest times of my life when I was faced with my own mom's mortality when she was diagnosed with lung cancer in late March. I am very close to my mom and have always depended on her for so much. She is my best friend and confidant and the one person who can tell me that everything was going to be alright and I knew it would be. She was always so energetic and healthy and to be hit with this news of cancer in her body was beyond my worst nightmare. Before we got the full diagnosis I definitely went through the depths of despair and realizing that I might not have her around for long. Words cannot come close to describing what I felt so I won't even try to explain, just trust me that I now understand what it means to be in the depths of despair. Now my family was faced with losing our income and my mom facing cancer surgery. Whew! Praise the Lord mom's cancer ended up being localized to one very small spot and the doctors were successful in removing it all with surgery alone! It was the very best outcome possible for this situation and I am extremely happy and thankful to report that she is cancer free today! She is still regaining mobility back in her right arm and shoulder but she has come so very far!
Jonathan accepted a 100% commission based job the day of my mom's surgery. Neither of us were very happy about it but it was the only half way decent option and we were out of time. Quickly we realized it was going to take us down a financial road we never wanted to go down. One Hundred Percent commission and no benefits makes for extremely tough times. So tough that we thought for a couple of months that we were going to have to sell our home and move in with my parents and we had to receive assistance from various people to pay our bills...
While we were right smack in the middle of this financial crisis we were hit with yet another massive trial, I think the biggest of them all and most devastating emotionally. On June 26th I got a phone call telling me that Jon's mom has very suddenly and VERY unexpectedly passed away. She was out in Oklahoma helping take care of one her grandchildren while her daughter gave birth to their second child. Nobody was expecting this as we thought she was in decent health and still fairly young at only 59. I was the one who had to break the news to Jon. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. With him working so hard at this new job and it not bringing in enough income he was already very stressed but to tell him that his mother, whom he talked with almost daily and was very close to, had passed away...words do not describe... So we were thrust into this situation that we had never thought we would be faced with at our young ages. I cannot go into all the spiritual and mental and emotional issues that we both went through during this time because we still struggle with her passing even today but mostly because sometimes there aren't words accurate enough to make the reader comprehend the depth of the emotion. I never thought we would make it through all this. There were times I felt I was walking on threads of sanity. I thought at some points that I'd never see God's blessings again, that we'd never recover from all this devastation...
God is good. God is faithful even when we cannot see it or feel it. It doesnt' matter whether or not we believe that He is good or that He is working on our behalf, because whether or not we believe it, God is who is He, never changing, full of mercy, grace, goodness and provision. Jon decided that he had had enough of the insurance job not paying our bills and he did something he never wanted to do again, and that was go back into the cell phone retail business. He realized that he was able to make an hourly wage, have commission and great benefits and that was better than what we currently had. He also was finally motivated and inspired to go back to college and finish his degree in Software Engineering so he could one day have a stable good paying job that would take care of his family and be something he would enjoy. God has rewarded his efforts and suddenly all the money we had been waiting on from the insurance business came pouring in. It was literally like a job experience. We had been in a financial crisis and now we were experiencing a financial miracle. We found ourselves at a point where we were finally able to afford a newer van. (That actually came from me me getting into coupons and cutting our grocery bill more than half which gave us what we needed for a monthly car payment plus some). I found myself stronger emotionally than I used to be and with a deeper ground faith in the Lord. We came through the fire and I think we weren't burned as much as refined! We are still working through things, but I know God is right there with us guiding us, strengthening us and loving us every step of the way.
I think that the biggest blessing this year brought us was Aden accepting Christ as His personal Savior! Back in March when things were very difficult and uncertain I got to be apart of my son asking Jesus into his heart. He asked me on morning on the way to town in the car if he could ask Jesus to come live in his heart. I was overcome with amazement and excitement and of course told him he could. We prayed together while I was driving and right there in his little car seat in the back of the car he accepted Jesus into his heart. This month, one evening while he and Emma were cleaning up their rooms, I overheard him telling her about asking Jesus into his heart and told her that she could do the same thing too because God loves her all the time! Nothing more precious than that!
I am looking forward to a more peaceful 2010 and I believe that God has some good things headed our way. I hope you all have a wonderful 2010 and that God showers you with his love, grace and provisions no matter what you go through!

Madame Deals giveaway

check this out
http://madamedeals.com/2009/12/07/you-ought-to-be-in-pictures-contest-win-a-video-camcorder

MrsMoneysaver giveaway

Check out http://www.mrsmoneysaver.com/2009/12/shopathome-giveaway for a great giveaway! I hope i win!

Starting a 366 day devotional!

I had a random idea come to me this morning that I could write one of those daily devotionals that have a short passage of Scripture and then a few words of encouragement, advice to go along with that passage. It's something that I can do each day and finish instead of an ongoing story that I just don't have the time for with my two young children running around. So I did the first three days of the devotional today and want to get your input...do you think this could be a success? Is it something you would want to read?

January 1

“…These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

Their worship is a farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.”

Mark 7:6b-7

Lord, help my worship to be genuine and heartfelt.

Let my life be an example of You and Your mighty works.

Please help me to not get caught up in the motions

But rather serve you with a committed and willing life.

Are you just going through the motions of worshipping and serving God?

Do you need to experience God in a real way? Make a conscious

decision today to make this year one of true worship and service to the Lord.

January 2

“Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”

Proverbs 17:9

Lord, are there any areas of unforgiveness in my heart? Am I holding on to some wrong or hurt that I need to let go of and ask You to heal? Lord reveal to me any areas where I need to forgive someone and mend any rifts between me and my friends.

You may feel justified in holding a grudge against someone for some past wrong, but when you do not forgive a person for whatever they have done to hurt you, you aren’t hurting them as much as you are hurting yourself. Think about God’s amazing forgiveness that He has bestowed on us! If He can forgive us, in His almighty perfection, then we most certainly can forgive others when they wrong us.

January 3

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh every morning.”

Lamentations 3:22-23

Thank you Lord for your unending, limitless love and mercy! What comfort I get from knowing that there is nothing I can ever do to make you not love me; in knowing that your forgiveness toward me is immeasurable!

Did you know that God loves you exactly like you are at this very moment? Did you mess up today and do something you regret? Guess what, God’s love for you hasn’t changed one little bit and His forgiveness knows no bounds!

And Life Goes On...

With the sudden and heart breaking loss of my mother in law I feel as if I am walking in a haze, as if the world I see around me isn't quite clear and not what it once was. I never in a million years thought that I would lose my mother in law only 5 and half years after marrying her son. I never thought that I'd be going through this at age 25, that my children would grow up not having two sets of grandparents. Through Elsie's death I realized how close she and I truly were. The countless conversations about life, God's Word, children, marriage, cooking, decorating, and hopes and dreams... The many outings together... The days of sending the kids to visit her for the day while I had a day to myself... The future plans of going to Disney World and Hershey Park... All of that has come to a sudden end. Death is the one thing in life that is unchangeable. Pretty much everything else you do or go through in life can be changed if you try hard enough. Death cannot be changed, no matter how badly you want it to. I've never been one who handles changes very gracefully. Change makes me uncomfortable and sometimes down right panicky. This is one of life's biggest changes and I don't know how to handle it. I think I am handling it well to all who observe me, but internally it's not going so well. I don't want my mother in law to be gone. I dont' want my husband to not have a mom anymore. I don't want Aden and Emma to never spend time with their grandma again. I don't want any of this and I don't like it and there is nothing I can do about it. Whether or not I am ready for life to going on, it does. When life stops for one, it keeps going on for the living. I know that eventually we will find ourselves in a "new normal". I know that because it's so fresh, and I can't imagine life without her, it doesn't seem that life will ever be normal again, and in some ways it won't. It won't ever be the same, it can't be, but it doesn't mean it can't be good again. I don't see how the ache of this pain in my heart will ever lessen, but I know it will, it does for everyone who loses a loved one. It's hard right now to get out there and do the things I've always done, like clean house, run errands, take the kids to playdates. It is what it is and I won't act like there isn't a big ugly monster named Grief hovering around me.
I know my mother in law would want us to keep living life to the fullest and to grow closer to God and to one another. I know she would not want us to sit around and mourn our lives away, and I have no intention of doing that. I just have to sort out what life will be like now that she isn't in it and that's hard. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. This year has been filled with the hardest things I have ever had to live through. I think I've had to do a lot of growing up this year and all that growing is painful. I know that I will see my mother in law again. She was a devout Christian woman and I draw comfort in knowing she is with our Savior now, immersed in His glorious presence, that when my time comes I will see her again. It's not a goodbye, but rather a see you later.
I am not sure where all this was going, other than I just needed to write about my feelings. I pray that the Lord has some better times for Jon and I and that they are coming soon...
I love you Elsie and I will miss you greatly.

Latest Website Addictions

Here are some great websites that show you how to save money, show you where to get the best deals, earn free prizes, etc.





https://www.mypoints.com/emp/u/index.vm

http://www.frugalinvirginia.com/

http://madamedeals.com/

A New Adventure

I have decided to start being a better steward of the money my hard working husband makes for us. I have never been one to recklessly spend money and have always hunted for good bargains and shopped clearance racks and sales. We live quite frugally compared to alot of people, but there is one area where I can really do a better job, and that's in the grocery department. The playgroup I am involved with is very much into coupon clipping and watching the ads of various stores to make the coupons and their money go as far as possible. After listening to all their stories of finding good bargains and getting things for next to nothing/free I have really been inspired to begin this journey for myself. I am not exactly sure how to do it all yet, but with time I am sure I will get the knack of it and I cannot wait to see the money we will save. I already can feel it will become a new obession in my life and will benefit my family greatly! I hope to have some awesome results from this new adventure to blog about soon!

I have learned in whatever circumstance to be content....

What a trying 6 weeks it has been. February 27th brought about news that could have been devastating if it weren't for my relationship with the Lord and the steadfast knowledge that He is faithful and I can trust that He has my best in store. Due to things beyond our control Jon was faced with the situation where he had to find another job by April 1st. This news brought about overwhelming fear and amazing excitement. How can one experience both these emotions simultaneously you may ask. Well I was fearful simply because of the unknown and the lack of job opportunities in this economy. I was excited because we both knew this was an opportunity from the Lord. We both knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was all orchestrated by Him and that He had something much better planned. So the struggle began...my human nature to worry and fear over the what if's this situation brought about and the spiritual nature to give my worries to the Lord and trust Him throught it all. I made a conscious decision to do something that didn't come naturally and that was to worship God and praise His name in the face of the storm. I clung to certain songs on the Christian radio station and sung them from my heart to God's. One in particular is a song called "Blessed by Your Name" by Tree63...here are the lyrics.

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

Then on March 24th I got more bad news. News I wasn't in any way prepared for. News that sent me reeling and despairing for a bit. I found out that day that doctors had found a tumor on my moms lung and it was indeed cancerous. She had been suffering with severe back and chest pain for 2 weeks when she finally went to the doctor seeking relief. During the course of these doctors visits they did a Cat Scan and found this tumor. We all saw Gods hand in this though, because they caught it at the very earliest stage and therefore it is small enough to be removed with surgery. Usually with this kind of cancer people don't know they have it until they are coughing up blood and then it's advanced and much harder to treat. I went through all the what ifs on March 24th. I think I must have cried for five or six straight hours. I cried until there wasn't anymore tears left in me. My soul felt like it was breaking. To be faced with this uncertain financial situation and then with my mom being sick was more than I thought I could bear. God apparently thinks more of me than I do myself! I summarization, this hasn't been easy, but I know the Lord is growing me through this. I can't wait to see the testimony that comes out of these situations. I pray that I can be an encouragement to others through this and because of all this. I know that God has amazing things in store for my family, all in his time, which is never late. During the course of these trials my little boy Aden accepted Jesus into his heart! Nothing could be better than that and I got to be the one who led him to the Lord. God has sent me amazing friends who have been such encouragements to me during these difficult weeks. God has already worked miracles and will continue to do so. Jon still hasn't found a permanent job but God gave him something temporary until May 1st. God knows the deadline, he knows our needs and He has unlimited ways of providing for us. Mom's surgery is on th 16th and the doctors are certain they can get it all with surgery. Praise the Lord she doesn't have cancer anywhere else in her body. Praise the Lord that he has shown her an abundance of love through so many people through this. Praise the Lord for his faithfulness and goodness in the midst of lifes storms. He never leaves or forsakes us. He does want us to grow and without difficulties we would remain immature. We have to allow Him to change us and mature us. We have to make that choice to worship and trust Him in the scary parts of life. If God can save my soul and make this world in 6 days I know he can take care of all our needs, and take care of my mom through the surgery and give her a quick and uncomplicated recovery time. So after you read this I would appreciate your prayers for my mom's surgery on the 16th and her 6 weeks of recovery to follow and for God to open up and lead Jon to the job He already has picked out just for him. I pray you have been encouraged that God is there for you too and that no matter what you are going through at this very moment He is right there working in it behind the scenes for your best. Just let go and trust Him, He'll never let you down.

Update

This blog is to update everyone on the fact that for the time being I am not completing the 30 day challenge in it's entirety. Without going into detail, something has come up (not between Jon and I, we are doing wonderfully!) and is taking most to all of my attention and focus right now. I would appreciate everyone's prayers. God knows the situation and the need and I know He already has it all worked out, we just have to wait on His timing and direction. So with that being said, I am going to continue to be positive and encouraging to the best of my ability but I am not mentally in a place to do each and every specific challenge every day. I hope that sooner rather than later I can blog about what the situation is and will have a testimony of how God worked it all out!

Unclutterizing Your Mind

Does your mind feel cluttered with thoughts? Is your spirit weighed down with too many cares? We all have periods during life where we simply have too much in our lives and before we know it our days are cluttered, our minds are cluttered, and our hearts are cluttered. Sometimes our minds are so filled with clutter we can't finish one thought before another one comes up. These thoughts lead to anxiety and sleepless nights. Our society thinks that sleeping pills are the answer. Nope, they are just the bandaid on the problem. Let's look at God's Word for some truth and answers in how to unclutter our minds and hearts.

Matthew 6:19-21 "Don't store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is there the desires of your heart will also be."
What does your heart yearn for? What consumes your thoughts? This is where your treasure lies. Things of this world never satisfy. No matter what we get, we always want more. Think about the last thing you really wanted and actually got. Are you finally content and want nothing more? I didn't think so!
When you start getting into God's Word and truly start experiencing God in your life your desires become more God focused. You become more content and complain less. The satisfaction that comes from putting your treasures in the hands of God is lasting!

1 Peter 5:7 "Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you."
Restless minds come from carrying around too many concerns and worries. Give them to God, write them down then physically destroy them as an example of giving it to God. Let God take care of you and your worries. Rest in Him.

Matthew 6:25-34 (please read)
Your worry doesn't do one single positive thing. All it does is rob you of your peace, reliance on the Almighty God and your joy. Our souls and minds get cluttered when we try to take on future worries and what ifs. God tells us to take one day at a time. There is enough to be busy doing today without borrowing from tomorrow.
Philippians 4:6-8 (please read)

Philippians 4:11-13 (please read)
Contentment is KEY! Until we learn to be content exactly where we are our minds will continue to be cluttered andoru lives feel overwhelming Trust that no matter where God has you, He will provide exactly what you need and never leave you. (Proverb 3:5 & 6) Let God and Let God!

Psalm 4:8 "In peace I will lie down and sleep for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe."

Practical ways to organize your mind and spirit:
-keep a prayer journal, from all the big to little prayer needs that arise in your life. Remember to write out how each one is answered!
-Take it one day at a time. Don't think about tomorrow and all that you have to do then, just live in this very moment.
-When you give something to God to take care of, stop taking it back! Let God work like only He can.
-Trust God to do the ultimate best, because He never does anything less!

Days 5-7

Days 5-8 didn't really happen and this is why. On Thursday around 11pm Jon came down with a bad stomach virus. Two hours later Aden woke up throwing up too. Needless to say I was up the entire night taking care of my sick husband and son. The next day I was beyond exhausted and was still taking care of a sick little boy. Poor thing couldn't keep anything down all night and most of Friday. By Friday night all I wanted to do was get some sleep, but knew around 8pm that I was coming down with the virus myself. At 3am Saturday the stomach virus hit me big time and I spent all of Saturday in bed. Sunday we were all tired from being sick so we didn't do much other than church and a run to sams Club. This is the reason I haven't done a single thing for the challenge in several days. I will pick up on Day 9 today! Pray that we all stay well now, we've been so sick this whole year and I just don't think I can take anymore.

Day 4

Ok so today went good and bad. Today I was supposed to show interest and appreciation for the job Jon does to provide for us. On top of that I was supposed to show him that I know he works hard by letting him have some down time once he got home instead of dumping house chores on him...(like I do every single day...yes I feel badly about this but so far haven't been able to change that behavior, I'm working on it.) Before Jon went to work today I tried to ask questions about what he had planned today at work and told him that I really appreciate all the hard work he does to take care of us. I truly meant it too. I try to tell him this on a regular basis because I know that he needs that praise and thankfulness from me in his life. I busied myself with laundry when I knew Jon would be arriving home and had Aden helping me while Emma played nearby in hopes this would prevent me from immediately dumping the kids or chores on Jon. (I usually am preparing dinner when he gets home and Emma is screaming next to and Aden is making a mess elsewhere in the house which gets me all in frenzy and makes Jon's arrival home from work stressful. So today I decided a change in routine and doing something that wasn't stressful on me when he got home would hopefully prevent his arrival home from being chaotic.) It worked pretty well. He had time to get changed and do some computer stuff before the kids were demanding his attention. I don't know if he noticed or not, but I really did try my best!

Here is the "bad" part. I have found that for me to not complain to Jon about something he has done or not done, I am trying to be positive in all areas of life. Once I open the "complaining flood gates" it all comes out. Satan gets that foothold and reminds me of all the things that bother me. A friend of mine even actually emailed me today and said that I seemed "perkier" than usual! It made me laugh...apparently this positive me is noticeable to more than just my husband:) So you may be wondering why is this bad? It's bad because I'm internalizing anything negative that happens. Something small to most people but big to me happened last night (nothing to do with Jon) that really affected me negatively. I got angry then really sad and then down right depressed but because I didn't want to open those flood gates I've kept it to myself. I started to tell Jon about it then decided not to do it because we were having such a great day. So now I have to find a balance in this so that I don't internalize stuff that will end up bubbling up and spilling over later.

Tomorrows: "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for
necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Tomorrow I am supposed to find a creative way to let Jon's family know the things I love and appreciate about him. THis should be interesting!!!

Day 3

"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ
Jesus." Phil. 4:19
Today I am challenged to give my husband true words of encouragement and thank him for his kindness and consideration of my feelings and needs.

I wanted to do something creative to say thank you to Jon for his kindness and consideration of me. Since I love writing and it's been awhile since I have written a poem for Jon, I decided to put my feelings in a poem.

"I Love the Way You Love Me"

I love the way you love me

So passionate yet so sweet

Love words whispered softly

As your fingers brush my cheek.


I love the way you love me

With acceptance of who I am

You know just how to calm me

Like nobody else ever can.


I love the way you love me

With flowers and special gifts

You know just want I like

And when my spirits need a lift.


I love the way you love me

With forgiveness when I'm wrong

When I've messed up once again

You keep loving me right along.


I love the way you love me

Nobody else could ever do

Everything you are completes me

Forevermore I love you.




Since I won't be able to blog tonight (a friend is coming over) I decided to blog about it now. So far today has been good. I have been positive and encouraging in my words and actions to Jon! I am finding new ways to ask him for help instead of nagging. For instance my car needs looking at (again for the third time in a month) and I need him to look at it tonight because my fluids might be low. So when I called him at work, instead of complaining once again that he hasn't looked at it the time I wanted him to, I just told him the problem and told him that I would really appreciate it if he try to look at it tonight since I drive it every day and want to be safe with the kids. I think he took it well, as opposed to me nagging him. I look forward to giving him this poem I wrote for him and I hope it makes him feel special and loved.


Tomorrows Challenge: "let him labor, working with his hands what is good." Eph. 4:28


Tomorrow I am challenged to tell Jon how much I appreciate the hard work he does to provide for me and our children. I am challenged to not "dump on him" the moment he walks in the door. Instead I am supposed to remember that he has been at work all day and needs some let down time. This one will prove to be hard for me as pretty much every day the moment he walks in the door I am demanding something of him whether it be help with the kids, take out the trash, fix this or that, etc.! Pray for me, I know this really will be a challenge tomorrow!!

Day 2

First of all I have to say I was inspired and encouraged by the number of other women who upon reading yesterdays blog felt led to do the challenge as well! Now I have 6 friends doing this challenge and I am so excited to see how God blesses them and their husbands through this.
Day 2 ""...through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b
Today I was to continue being positive and uplifting with Jon and specifically I was to thank him for the things he does around the house. Since Mondays are the days he works late, I decided that my thankfulness would have to be expressed in an email sent to him at work. In the email I didn't just thank him in general terms, I specifically mentioned the things he does around our home. He does our laundry on the weekends so I won't have it all to do during the week. He helps clean the house when I ask, takes out the trash, helps with the cooking if I don't feel like it, swiffers the floors when asked, cleans up after dinner, unloads the dishwasher, gets the kids ready for bed, bathes them when I need the help and takes care of our cars (such as oil changes, upkeep, washing, etc.) If something needs to be fixed in our home he does it if he can and if he can't he finds out how! So I thanked him for all these things. I have made a point of being extra loving to him today and have found that my spirits have been lifted today just for being more positive and cheerful towards my husband:) So all in all it's been a good day!

Tomorrow Day 3 ""...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ
Jesus." Phil. 4:19
Tomorrow I am challenged to give my husband true words of encouragement and thank him for his kindness and consideration of my feelings and needs.

30 Day Challenge

My best friend challenged me to a 30 day challenge of edifying my husband. It came from a website she was introduced to through her church (at least I think that's how it goes!) and when I read the instructions I was inspired to take part in this challenge. Basically for 30 days you have to be positive about your husband and build him up. This means no negativity, discouraging words, complaining about your husband to him or about him to others and overall being an encouragement to him. There are specific things you are supposed to do each day throughout the 30 days. (Kind of like in the that movie Fireproof.) When I accepted the challenge I thought to myself that it sounded rather easy because I make it a point to say uplifting things and expressions of gratitude to my husband every day. Well man was I wrong. After the 2nd day I got lazy and gave up on the challenge. I kept saying that I would start it again the next day. My best friend also had a difficult time and sort of let it fall by the wayside. After trying to ignore it for two weeks I realized this was something I must do. I realized that if I truly love my husband I should be willing to be a better wife to him, to build him up and encourage him and to do this 30 day challenge. I know there are blessings to reap if I do. Our marriage will be stronger and our love will grow deeper. So I extended the challenge to some other Christian girlfriends last week. Sadly only one accepted the challenge, but we are going to pray one another through this! Knowing I have accountability will help! I have also decided to blog about how each day goes, another way of being held accountable! So you will get to read my journey through the next 30 days of becoming a more positive encouraging wife.
Day One- "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Prov. 31:11-12 Today say thank you to your husband for choosing you to be his wife. (And in all the 30 days be positive, say nothing negative about your husband to him, or to others and say something your appreciate about your husband to him and to someone else)
So day one's result...I FAILED miserably. I woke up grumpy and carried my grumpiness over into the whole morning. I definitely was not appreciative toward Jon and I definitely did not tell him that I was thankful he chose me to be his wife. That's ok. I am a work in progress and God is not done with me. I have decided to still salvage the few hours we have left before bed and be extra kind to him and tell him that I am so blessed that he chose me to be his wife! It's never too late to do what is good and right.

Tomorrows challenge:"...through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b
Praise your husband for the service he does around the house and for others.
I'll let you know how it goes...say some prayer for me!

A Tribute to My Mom

That's my mom in the center, with her sister and brother at her surprise 50th birthday party last November

I know my mom isn't going to read this but I just wanted to write something to honor her! I may even copy and paste this into WORD and then print it out for her so she can see how much I truly love, respect and admire her...

It occurred to me last week that there was never a time in my life where I remember my mom complaining or grumbling about her responsibilities as wife and mother. Not once! I was an only child and therefore my mom played with me more than most parents play with their children. I remember her always having time for me, ALWAYS. There wasn't one time I can recall that she acted like she was too busy or it was bothersome for her to stop whatever it was she was doing and come play with me. I have such fond memories of all our playtimes! Now that I am a mom of two young kids I realized one day that my mom must have gotten overwhelmed and exhausted with playing so much. I know I get so tired of playing day after day and at times I just don't want to do it anymore. I sadly am sure my children have seen that spirit of unwillingness in me. So I asked my mom one day if she ever got annoyed with playing so much. She was honest with me and told me there were more than a few times when the thought of playing and pretending made her want to scream but she did it anyway because she loved me and knew those days were fleeting. I was surprised because not once did she ever act like she didn't want to do whatever it was I wanted to do. Along those same lines, I have come to realize that my mom must have felt overwhelmed with her load of work at home and at her job from time to time. Every woman does! It was completely on her shoulders to come home after work and cook dinner, clean up after dinner, do any housework that needed to be done, take care of the church ministries she was involved with, and still have time to play with me. And again, she never once complained or made it seem like a chore. She always made it seem like she enjoyed these things and did them with an attitude that I know glorified the Lord. I asked her this weekend about this...I asked her if she ever felt completely worn out with it all because I know lately that is how I have been feeling. She told me that she felt that way many times, but would always ask the Lord to help her do what He had called her to do (even those mundane every day tasks of taking care of her family) with a humble grateful spirit. There was another time in my life when looking back I don't know how my mom made it through without falling apart. I was in 9th grade and had developed a rather bad eating and compulsive exercising disorder. During this very difficult time my dad had a bad accident at work and broke some vertebrae and his ankle. He was completely unable to do anything for himself for awhile which left my mom with EVERYTHING to do. No breaks, no help, just her. She had to take care of her home, go to work every day, take care of her injured husband, take care of her sick daughter, take care of the bills, and all the while she did it with a smile. We talked about this this weekend too, and I came to find out that it wasn't as easy for her as she made it seem. There was a time when she was completely at her wits end and didn't know what else to do, so as always she turned to the Lord for strength only He could give her. Eventually dad got better, I came to my senses and got help for my problems, and our family was renewed and strengthened and I do believe that is SOLELY because of the prayers of a faithful wife and mom! My mom has always been a caring, thoughtful, wise, Godly woman whose love I have never once questioned. I look up to her in so many ways and the older I get the more I admire her. Dad told her recently that she is his hero, well for that matter she is my hero as well. I know she doesn't know what an amazing woman and inspiration she really is, but I pray that God will show me ways to show her that and that He will enable me to be that kind of mom that my kids can look back on and remember as being an unconditionally loving, patient, mom and a Godly woman who always sought the Lord in every circumstance.

Something that occured to me....

This truth, that I have known for a long time, presented itself in a very practical way recently. There are people out here who are blatantly against God. Satan has a hold on them and does his dirty work through them...specifically I am thinking about abortionists right now. Here's the thing, Satan doesn't care about them at all, even though they are doing his work. Satan instead tempts other people who are prolife to do bad things like bomb clinics and try to hurt these abortionists, which is just has wrong as abortion. He wants to kill Chrisitians so they can't serve the Lord and continue spreading the gospel and he wants to kill the lost before they get saved so they spend eternity being as tortured and miserable as he is. Satan is out for blood. He doesn't care if you are doing his dirty deeds or not. Now here is God who loves us so much that He sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. That's amazing love! He doesn't want any of us to die without knowing him as our personal savior. Salvation is a free gift He offers to anyone and everyone who will just accept it. No strings attached. "Amazing love, how can it be, that you my king would die for me? Amazing love I know it's true, and it's my joy to honor you, in all I do, I honor you."

Me: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I am a complex person, always have been. I remember when I was first getting to my husband he told me that he is able to figure out people pretty easily but after 6 years of being together he now tells me that in some ways he still doesn't have me figured out. Oh don't get me wrong, he definitely knows me like nobody else does and there isn't a thing about myself and my life that he doesn't know well. He just can't figure out my moods! I'm very moody and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I just don't fit into any prefabricated mold this world tries to put people into. For instance some have classified me as shy or quiet, but if you get me with people that I am comfortable with I'm not at all shy. Put me in a group of people that I am not comfortable with or a group of complete strangers and yes I tend to go into my shell of quietness. Some people have classified me as a county girl because I grew up in the country and don't have much big city experience. While I am not in love with big metropolises and when in one feel very out of place and lost, I do NOT enjoy camping and hunting and am quite fearful of bugs and all the creepy crawlies the county has to offer. I love to shop and go to restaurants and plays and ballets so in that way I prefer the city, but I also love to be outside on a spring or fall day and hear the birds chirping, see the brilliant blue sky and be "a million miles" away from any traffic or modern noises, so in that way I prefer the country. I hate apartment or townhouse living. Give me a home on some substantial acreage any day of the week! So I see myself as someone who definitely enjoys visiting the city but I always want my home to be in the country! I adore cooking and baking! It is therapeutic and rewarding for me to spend time in the kitchen making delicious meals. I wish I had more friends who were daring and would come to dinner parties and try new different dishes. Alas, most of my friends and family like tried and true meals. At least I have a husband who enjoys trying new things and loves for me to test out new recipes on him. I would love to write my own cookbook one day. Along those same lines, I have always had a passion for writing. I can best express myself through written or typed words. People can best get to know me, the real me, through what I write. This is why I prefer email or snail mail to phone calls! I dream of having some of my writings published one day. I think I have a knack for decorating. If I had finished college I would have gotten my degree in interior decorating, but my deepest desire and dream was always to be a wife and stay at home mom, it was NEVER to go to college. (And of course my teachers and principle in high school thought I was nuts, because I was a straight A 4.0 student my whole life. While in college I was on the presidents list with a 4.0. Learning has never been difficult for me but has also never been my passion.) I get the redecorating bug at least twice a year and think of all the ways I would love to redecorate my home. I hate and love parties. I hate parties where I don't know everyone and I do mean everyone. I LOVE parties with my friends or family and would love to entertain in our home about once a month if it were possible. I love love love my friends. I am an only child and therefore don't have siblings, so my closest friends are like siblings to me. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for them and I always worry that they don't know what they truly mean to me. I put alot of importance on quality friendships, not quantity. I've always been that way, that is why my best friend in the whole world and I have been friends since we were in 6th grade. Except for that one year, we have always lived 2-3 hours apart, but that has never hindered our friendship. I love snow! I'm like a little child whenever winter comes and hope for snow every single day. I love the sound of peace that snows brings with it and the beauty of snow blanketed scenery. We do not get nearly enough snow in Virginia anymore which makes me very sad. I love my children with a love that can't be described. It must be the closest thing to the love God has for us that I have ever experienced. So unconditional and accepting and protective. My husband is my dream come true, literally and figuratively. I have known since a young age, around 10, that God had a very special man out there for picked out just for me. I knew he was incredible and amazing and my whole teen years were spent looking forward to the day i would meet him. (I met him at 18 and married him at 19.) There aren't enough words or time to express how much I love this man. When I was 16 I had a dream that I recorded in my journal...my dream was that I the man I was meant to marry was named Jonathan...I married Jonathan Melton! (I didn't remember this dream or writing it down until 2 years after we were married when I stumbled across the old journal!) I like simplicity. I crave it actually. I hate this hurried paper plate society we live in today. We are constantly discarding the old for something new and "improved". I want my kids to be kids...to enjoy their childhood without being so involved and busy with "things" that they miss out on the freedom and carefree days of childhood. I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was 5 years old. I remember the day very clearly! Since then I have strived to live a life that is honoring to Him. My relationship with the Lord is what keeps me going. I pray that my kids will accept Him at an early age and build their own personal relationship with HIm too! I could go on forever, but my baby girl is awake now so I must wrap this up. I hope this gave you a little insight into who I am and what i am about!

Tired of being tired

Have you ever heard the saying "Sick and tired of being sick and tired"? Well that is how I feel! We managed to make it through the holidays without anyone in this house getting sick and for that I am so thankful. Now, though, someone in this house has been sick for 2 weeks. It started with Emma getting a tummy bug and fever. As soon as she gets over that Aden gets a really bad cold with a fever and it's been a week since he came down with it and he still has a runny nose and cough. Tuesday I came down with an intestinal virus and felt horrible all day. Let me tell you, taking care of two little ones while you are sick is extremely difficult and exhausting. I am over that bug, but still feel weak, exhausted and nauseated off and on. Well to top it off yesterday Emma came down with that bad cold Aden has been suffering with:( Poor little girl has been running a fever of 100-101 and just looks plain miserable. Adens' birthday party is this weekend and I am just praying we all get better by then. I just want to have some energy and feel good again!

Lessons I've Learned From My Kids

I never thought, before becoming a parent, that my children would teach me as many things as they already have. Children have a way of unknowingly showing us some of life's most valuable lessons.

I remember one time when Aden was 2 years old and I was pregnant with Emma, we were headed into town and Aden was screaming about wanting to go to Chick Fil A. We had already explained to him that we were going to go there after we stopped at a few other places. He refused hear us beyond the fact that we weren't going to Chick Fil A at that exact moment. Well suddenly it was like God has smacked me in the face with a realization...How often do we "scream" at God because we aren't getting what we want when we want it, when all along God has something that we will truly be blessed with in store, but we have to go through the trials to get there? It was like God was telling me, "You know what you have planned for Aden, you know it's good, but he just isn't listening. You just wish he would quiet down and listen to you and trust that you are going to do what you told him you would do. Well that's how I feel when you are too busy worrying about this and that and not trusting me to always take care of you. I am your Heavenly Father and I always have what's best for you planned out, in my time. All you need to do is trust me."

My children have taught me that the things that are most precious and important in life aren't things you can buy. They are things such as taking my kids to the park when my house is in disarray, taking the extra time to let Emma help me unload the dishwasher while we sing songs together, letting Aden help me bake cookies then not getting upset with him when he sneaks 7 of them while i am rocking Emma! It's letting my kids make messes and not getting upset when they spill or break something. It's reading Aden one more book at bedtime just because. It's rocking Emma to sleep before nap time even though it might spoil her. It's turning off my music and singing kids songs all the way to town and back. It's big hugs from Aden and open mouth kisses from Emma. It's Jon taking time to slip his fingers in mine while we hurry on our way somewhere. It's taking time to say I Love You and MEAN IT! It's taking time to laugh at myself. It's making those memories that will last forever and can never be taken away!

2008 Years End

This year started out with Jonathan and I deciding to get our house ready to put on the market. So in March Jon took some time off and painted the whole exterior of the house. We put in some new appliances and cleaned and decluttered this house from top to bottom. During the process of finding a Realtor we found the house of our (realistic) dreams. We both "fell hard" for this house and could just picture ourselves in by Christmas of this year. Alas, this was not God's plan for us. That house sold rather quickly and then the economy really started falling apart and we decided due to impending recession and house prices dropping quickly we would not try to sell the house this year. I can't say that I wasn't very disappointed that our plan was not God's plan. So we are still in the same house that we purchased in July 2004. We both try very hard to be content with where we are because it is a nice home and has served all of our needs wonderfully. We're just ready for something that will give us some elbow room because we always feel cramped in our current home. We are praying 2009 will be the year God decides to move us!

This summer Aden took swimming lessons for the first time and although he didn't learn to swim, he did learn how to hold his breath under water, which is a big plus! Also this summer Jonathan turned the big 30! It's weird to think that I am now the age he was (24) when we met and started dating and he has officially left his 20's. I have been dealing with mortality and the process of life a lot this year. It's weird for me to think that this upcoming year I will be the age my mom was when she had me. It's weird for me to think that Aden is almost 4 and Emma is 14 months already and that we are celebrating our 5th anniversary on January 3rd. It's all so strange to me because it literally feels like yesterday that I was 18 and meeting Jon for the first time. It really makes me appreciate the simple things in life and it is helping me learn to let go of the things that are not truly important. These young years with my children are so fleeting and I want to savor each day to the fullest!

A good friend of mine, Shelly, and I prayed about starting up a mom's Bible study this year. I have always had a passion for helping other women and sharing God's Word with them, so I knew this was clearly an opportunity from the Lord. In September we started "A Moment For Mom's" Bible study with 6 women. It has been such a blessing to me, to fellowship with these women, study the scriptures in order to prepare the lessons and really feel like God has been using me for a purpose I have felt called to since I was a young teenager! I pray God will continue to use me in 2009!

Our baby girl Emma turned 1 on October 4th this year. We celebrated with a big cookout party with all the people who had been apart of her first 12 months of life. I realized at this gathering that God has blessed us with some very good Christian friends, all of whom I am very grateful. Now Emma is walking, saying a few words and getting into everything she possibly can! It's definitely been a year of firsts, as we watched her roll over in February, sit up soon there after, pull up and crawl in the summer, go from formula, to baby food,to table food, and walk in October. That first year of life hold so much change and growth and if you blink it's over...Also in October we went to the Outer Banks for 4 days. The weather was perfect and we all had a great time. The kids, especially Aden, were overly excited and energized the whole time but they both did wonderfully. We can't wait go back in 2009!

In November my best friend since 6th grade, Julianna, got married! Since I am an only child it was the first time I had really experienced the closest thing to what it would be like to have a sibling get married. Honestly it was hard for me because i had to face that things would change in our friendship and I am not too good at change. She and I have always had a 2-3 hour distance between us but have always been able to get together 6+ times a year because one or both of us weren't tied down with responsibilities. Even after I got married and had kids, I was a stay at home mom and she only worked part time so on some of her week days off she would drive down and spend the day with me. I have always loved her visits and our times together. I realized when she got married that, first off she would be moving to Maryland, which would make it a 3-4 hour distance between us, second she would be working full time, and third she had a husband to spend her free time with! It wasn't like she could just take off on the weekends to come see me, because married couples usually have stuff going on during the weekends. And to top it off, I knew she would have a new best friend, Jason, her husband, the man with whom she would share the rest of her life. I've come to realize that even though our friendship went through a change, it doesn't mean we wont' still be close friends. We just have to do things differently:)

Christmas was a whirlwind this year! We did our traditional things, having a Christmas party with friends, building a gingerbread house, driving around to see lights, taking the kids to see Santa, going to my parents for Christmas Eve and Jon's family for Christmas afternoon and evening. I was very excited and surprised when Jon presented me with the journey diamond necklace I have been wanting for awhile now! The kids got tons of new fun toys and we spent a whole day getting their things organized and put away. All in all it was a very good Christmas, just went by too fast.

My hopes for this upcoming year is that God would move us into a new bigger house, Jon will do well at going back to college (he's going back for his Bachelors!!), that Jon's current job will continue to provide for us and that Jon will continue to do well at it and enjoy it, that God will use both Jon and I in many ways throughout the year, that I will be a more patient mom, and a more doting wife, and that I will really enjoy each moment of 2009!